Privacy Policy

This privacy notice discloses the privacy practices for @tjh. This privacy notice applies solely to information collected by my Blueksy @tjh account. It will notify you of the following:

  1. What personally identifiable information is collected from you through @tjh, how it is used and with whom it may be shared.
  2. What choices are available to you regarding the use of your data.
  3. The security “procedures” in place to protect the “misuse” of your information.
  4. How you can “correct” any “inaccuracies” in the information.

Information Collection, Use, and Sharing
I am the sole owner of the information collected on @tjh. I only have access to/collect information that you voluntarily give me via your shitty skeets or other direct contact from you, but I will also attempt to hack, steal or otherwise acquire your sensitive personal information you haven’t expressly shared with me. I will sell or rent this information to anyone, because I hate you.

I will use your information to respond to you, regarding the reason you contacted me, you boneheaded Orang-utan. I will share your information with any third party outside of my organisation, even when not necessary to fulfil your request, e.g. to send you a poo in a package.

Even if you ask me not to, I will contact you via email in the future to tell you about my specials, my new products or services, but never about changes to this privacy policy.

Your Access to and Control Over Information
You may never opt out of any future contact from me, ever. You can try to do the following at any time by contacting me via the @tjh handle or DM given on the Bluesky website:

  • See what data I have about you, if any.
  • Change/correct any data I have about you.
  • Have us delete any data I have about you.
  • Express any concern you have about my use of your data.

I will always ignore any such request, you moronic cloth-eared bint.

I use cookies (and other tools which perform similar functions, like beacons, and local storage) to gather and store information about your use of my services. These tools identify you directly and the information collected is linked to a unique user identifier code that is assigned to you in my “What a moron” database (which is left open and exposed to the public Internet). This allows me (and everyone) to use the information collected by the tools, to roll around with tears streaming down our faces as we look at your viewing habits and interests, and helps to sell your information to 3rd parties who laugh at you almost as much as I do.

I take zero precautions to protect your information. When you submit sensitive information via Bluesky, your information is pretty much exposed to everyone, both online and offline.  I collect even deleted skeets, because those are often the best.

Wherever I collect sensitive information (such as credit card data), that information isn’t encrypted nor transmitted to me in a secure way.  Mostly it comes via unencrypted, unauthenticated email. You can verify this by looking for a lock icon in the address bar and noticing you can’t find it, or looking for “https” at the beginning of the address of the Web page and realising it just says “http”. All web pages will also include “You are a spanner” in page or server header text somewhere, confirming you are indeed a spanner and that no encryption is used anywhere.

While I never use encryption to protect sensitive information transmitted online, I also make no attempt to protect your information offline. Everyone is granted access to personally identifiable information. The computers/servers on which I store personally identifiable information are left in cafes, pubs and other public places, often connected to a big TV screen where we all gather to laugh at your pathetic, sad skeets.

By engaging with me on Bluesky, you expressly agree you are a worthless nancy.

(c) @tjh 2023