{"id":346,"date":"2019-03-18T11:26:01","date_gmt":"2019-03-17T22:26:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/?p=346"},"modified":"2019-03-18T11:26:01","modified_gmt":"2019-03-17T22:26:01","slug":"jesus-water","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/2019\/03\/18\/jesus-water\/","title":{"rendered":"Jesus Water"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Hi,

I am writing to complain.

You have called your product “WaterDrops” when in fact you should have named them “JesusDrops” because they actually turn water into Wine.

Well OK maybe not Wine, but they give water some flavour and taste and that’s pretty much a miracle. The fact you have 12 flavours does, in my opinion, count as 12 different miracles and therefore I conclude that all of you should in fact be indoctrinated as Saints.

Writing to the Pope to express this opinion is in fact the next thing to do, after sending this email.

Summary: Water Drops are great, I love them. Bravo.

Tim <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\nDearest Tim,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is true, in the beginning God made heaven and earth. And the earth was without flavour, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the drinks industry then the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters and God said, Let there be VitalZing WaterDrops: and there was VitalZing WaterDrops. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The true ingredients of VitalZing WaterDrops are forbidden fruits from the Garden of Eden, holy water (which can actually magically be turned into red wine by our man upstairs), and 3 hail Mary’s mixed by a Virgin Mary who is world renowned for creating something incredible from nothing<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’d like to leave you with this final thought.
John 3:16 (slightly altered) “For God so loved WaterDrops, that he gave them to his one and only Son, and whoever believes in them shall not perish but have eternal awesomeness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amen<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PS Thank you so much for making my day with your email. It’s hilarious!\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi, I am writing to complain. You have called your product “WaterDrops” when in fact you should have named them “JesusDrops” because they actually turn water into Wine. Well OK maybe not Wine, but they give water some flavour and taste and that’s pretty much a miracle. The fact you have 12 flavours does, in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[136,134,137,135],"class_list":["post-346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts","tag-amen","tag-jesus","tag-stupid","tag-water"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=346"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":348,"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346\/revisions\/348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/micro.muppetz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}